Parenting is demanding enough, but parenting all by yourself without the help of a spouse is far more difficult. Single parents technically have double the responsibility any usual parent does. They cannot hand of half of their duties to someone else and hope to relax for a while. Caring for a baby is backbreaking work, thus all single parents look for possible help. Thankfully, a large umber of childcare facilities has become available for single parents today. But, on the flipside, choosing the right childcare facility out of the hordes available is a job in itself.
If you are looking for some sort of childcare facility you will first have to do decide which option will work best for you. You can choose from one-to-one caregivers to childcare centers and a thousand other options.
A number of single parents opt for nannies or au pairs who provide childcare at home. This is often a good arrangement since it does not include the entire picking up and dropping off fiasco. It also ensures that your schedule, no matter how erratic it is, does not come in the way of your child’s well being. Single parents often find the strict timings at most day care centers very inconvenient. It becomes difficult them to manage dropping off or picking up their baby’s at a specific time. A childcare provider who comes home therefore is a far better option for them. Also, the fact that your child will be within the comfort of your own home and not in some godforsaken day care center is also a strangely comforting thought.
However, don’t expect a childcare provider to solve all your problems cause they have issues of their own. The first problem with a childcare provider is the amount of trust they need from your side. Its not easy or advisable for any parent to entrust their child with an individual they have never seen before. Also, it is not particularly cheap. So in case you are considering finding a caregiver for your child try and look for someone you know. In case that’s not possible at least try and get to know your nanny a little better before employing him/her. See how he/she deals with the child. Ask for recommendations and speak to former employers. Also, do remember to find out where he/she lives. If everything works out and the financial end is taken care of a childcare provider might solve all your baby-related problems.
If however you are unable to find someone who suits your bill opt for a day care center. Here your child will stay under the close supervision of a number of trained caregivers. More than one caregiver means more support, it also means greater reliance. Even if one of the caregivers are sick you know that your baby won’t go uncared for due to the presence of the other caregivers. The day care center is also a place where the child learns to socialize, more number of people and kids his/her own age will allow your baby to open up to more easily. But despite all its conveniences a day care center is not a preferable option for most parents. This is because kids here hardly get any individual attention. There is also an increased probability of sickness among the children in these centers.
Monday, April 28, 2008
A Valid Reason Not To Divorce
So far as the institution of family is concerned, our society is predominantly oriented towards two-parent families. For upbringing and fostering children, the presence of both the parents is considered to be essential and fundamental. Any other scenario deviating from this norm is believed to be inherently faulty and damaging. To some extent, it is true also. Till now, human families have been built on the rock of two-parent orientation. This belief has certainly influenced the micro-intricacies involved in the process of growing up and becoming an adult. However, by stressing this norm beyond a limit, we tend to ignore the necessity and inevitability of social evolution and individual independence. For relevant reasons, people may resort to alternate trends which may not be popular or have a mass support, but are acceptable and sometimes unavoidable. Single parenting is one such trend.
Several circumstances may lead to the formation of a single-parent household. However, divorce happens to be the number one reason. Being a single parent is a big challenge in itself and, sometimes, this task may seem to be so undaunting that an individual may continue to stick to a festering relationship, rather than moving ahead with his life and accepting the challenge. There are several reasons why people are repelled by the idea of single parenting.
One possible reason could be concern for the children. People are concerned about their children’s growth and future and want them to have the advantage of a regular family. For this, they are willing to bear with their personal unhappiness and turmoil. Though this decision, in reality, may not be in the best interest of the children, yet, the myths prevalent about single parenting may motivate the people to suffer for the sake of their children.
The other side of the coin is that the problems faced by single-parent households are the same as that of regular ones. Yet, the reason they seem to be so difficult is because the person supposed to face them tends to be alone. Parenting is a full-time job and may involve certain situations which could be tackled easily as a couple than as a single parent. For example, during certain phases of their growth, children tend to exhibit a critical and hostile attitude towards parents. It becomes easier to accept this situation as a couple. However, in the case of a single parent, it may lead to feelings of hurt and frustration. This sense of loneliness and isolation may repel the individuals from resorting to a divorce.
Other reason why the prospects of single parenting may prove to be an impediment on the way to a divorce is financial insecurity. If one of the spouses happens to be unemployed or not earning enough to support the children, the prospects of raising a family alone may seem to be impossible. This could induce the aggrieved individual to avoid a divorce, so that the children may continue to enjoy the benefits of financial stability. Research has shown that one of the biggest reasons that can jeopardise an attempt at single parenting is financial incapacity. Lack of resources may vitiate the family life and could have damaging effects on the personalities of the children. The financial self-reliance and self-sufficiency of a single parent is vital for him or her to make his family life a success story.
People tend to be concerned with their progeny’s psychological and emotional health. They want them to grow up into healthy adults and expect them to have stable relationships with their future life partners. A divorce may deprive them of adult role models and may lead them to have unhappy and unsuccessful relationships with their spouses. This could turn out to be one of the reasons for avoiding a divorce.
Thus, we have seen that for a number of reasons, people may drop the idea of a divorce and may continue with their non-functional relationships, rather than opting for single parenting. However, many of these reasons are based on myths and a logical analysis of them may dispel these fears. It is good to have adult role models, provided these men and women are emotionally healthy individuals. Children may suffer greater harm by living in a situation of perpetual conflict and discord, rather than having an effective and mature single parent. A single parent with relevant family skills and financial ability can raise well-rounded children. Alternate role models may emerge amongst friends and relatives. Initially after a divorce, things may prove to be tough for the children and the parent responsible for them. However, with patience and tact, this decision may prove to be the beginning of a new life.
Several circumstances may lead to the formation of a single-parent household. However, divorce happens to be the number one reason. Being a single parent is a big challenge in itself and, sometimes, this task may seem to be so undaunting that an individual may continue to stick to a festering relationship, rather than moving ahead with his life and accepting the challenge. There are several reasons why people are repelled by the idea of single parenting.
One possible reason could be concern for the children. People are concerned about their children’s growth and future and want them to have the advantage of a regular family. For this, they are willing to bear with their personal unhappiness and turmoil. Though this decision, in reality, may not be in the best interest of the children, yet, the myths prevalent about single parenting may motivate the people to suffer for the sake of their children.
The other side of the coin is that the problems faced by single-parent households are the same as that of regular ones. Yet, the reason they seem to be so difficult is because the person supposed to face them tends to be alone. Parenting is a full-time job and may involve certain situations which could be tackled easily as a couple than as a single parent. For example, during certain phases of their growth, children tend to exhibit a critical and hostile attitude towards parents. It becomes easier to accept this situation as a couple. However, in the case of a single parent, it may lead to feelings of hurt and frustration. This sense of loneliness and isolation may repel the individuals from resorting to a divorce.
Other reason why the prospects of single parenting may prove to be an impediment on the way to a divorce is financial insecurity. If one of the spouses happens to be unemployed or not earning enough to support the children, the prospects of raising a family alone may seem to be impossible. This could induce the aggrieved individual to avoid a divorce, so that the children may continue to enjoy the benefits of financial stability. Research has shown that one of the biggest reasons that can jeopardise an attempt at single parenting is financial incapacity. Lack of resources may vitiate the family life and could have damaging effects on the personalities of the children. The financial self-reliance and self-sufficiency of a single parent is vital for him or her to make his family life a success story.
People tend to be concerned with their progeny’s psychological and emotional health. They want them to grow up into healthy adults and expect them to have stable relationships with their future life partners. A divorce may deprive them of adult role models and may lead them to have unhappy and unsuccessful relationships with their spouses. This could turn out to be one of the reasons for avoiding a divorce.
Thus, we have seen that for a number of reasons, people may drop the idea of a divorce and may continue with their non-functional relationships, rather than opting for single parenting. However, many of these reasons are based on myths and a logical analysis of them may dispel these fears. It is good to have adult role models, provided these men and women are emotionally healthy individuals. Children may suffer greater harm by living in a situation of perpetual conflict and discord, rather than having an effective and mature single parent. A single parent with relevant family skills and financial ability can raise well-rounded children. Alternate role models may emerge amongst friends and relatives. Initially after a divorce, things may prove to be tough for the children and the parent responsible for them. However, with patience and tact, this decision may prove to be the beginning of a new life.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Responsibilities Of Single Parents
The proliferation of single parents is on the increase around the world. Raising a child or children alone often proves to be a difficult job. This is the reason that being a single parent involves taking on a lot more responsibility and takes a special person to be able to make do. The personality of the successful lone parent will often be courageous and stubborn. These qualities will be needed and tested in the process of seeking to better your child's life. One must have the courage to ask for assistance despite pride and the stubbornness to persist until that better life is realized.
Financial aid is provided by the government to any parent who can prove that they need the assistance in order to raise their child. The reason there are government grants for sole guardians is that the law accepts that raising a child without a 2nd income can be an extremely difficult proposition. In order to help out the guardian, grants are sometimes provided to help ease the pressures that are faced financially. This is not as much a charity as an acceptance that two incomes are often required to maintain a healthy lifestyle for children.
Government funding is accessible to the general public, especially needy single parents. To begin the process of applying for aid, he or she needs to obtain the forms from City Hall. The forms should be candidly and clearly completed because the information will need to be verified and will form the basis for the decision. Remember, you're dealing with the government, so all t's must be crossed and all i's must be dotted. Be advised that while financial aid is available and open to every person in the land, qualifications do exist and are set to protect the funds from fraud.
Note that financial assistance will not be given to those whose salaries are large and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. The government alone decides what constitutes "need". Don't make the mistake of thinking that things being difficult automatically makes your case for such need.
Remember, the pool of funds is finite.
While Government aid may be offered to the single parent, it is important to maintain your priorities. The parent must always understand that any grant provided will help out on the budget front, but the most crucial part of raising a child is the emotional support. The ability to care for your child through all the hard knocks and issues in their lives will ALWAYS be more important than the latest pair of Nike's.
Financial aid is provided by the government to any parent who can prove that they need the assistance in order to raise their child. The reason there are government grants for sole guardians is that the law accepts that raising a child without a 2nd income can be an extremely difficult proposition. In order to help out the guardian, grants are sometimes provided to help ease the pressures that are faced financially. This is not as much a charity as an acceptance that two incomes are often required to maintain a healthy lifestyle for children.
Government funding is accessible to the general public, especially needy single parents. To begin the process of applying for aid, he or she needs to obtain the forms from City Hall. The forms should be candidly and clearly completed because the information will need to be verified and will form the basis for the decision. Remember, you're dealing with the government, so all t's must be crossed and all i's must be dotted. Be advised that while financial aid is available and open to every person in the land, qualifications do exist and are set to protect the funds from fraud.
Note that financial assistance will not be given to those whose salaries are large and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. The government alone decides what constitutes "need". Don't make the mistake of thinking that things being difficult automatically makes your case for such need.
Remember, the pool of funds is finite.
While Government aid may be offered to the single parent, it is important to maintain your priorities. The parent must always understand that any grant provided will help out on the budget front, but the most crucial part of raising a child is the emotional support. The ability to care for your child through all the hard knocks and issues in their lives will ALWAYS be more important than the latest pair of Nike's.
Strategies To Overcome Problems In Single Parenting
If there's a single group of people who are underappreciated more than any other group of people, it has to be single parents. While everyone knows being a parent is hard, being a single parent tends to be even harder. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you're financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are six of the most common single parent struggles with tips and strategies on how to overcome them.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an eye on the kids and all of the other parental responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They don't really relate to singles without children because single parents have an entirely different set of priorities and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you're going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents are confused as to when a significant other should be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don't become emotionally involved with someone you're dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level. You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt should they become attached to a person you're dating and the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be that person for your child.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an eye on the kids and all of the other parental responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They don't really relate to singles without children because single parents have an entirely different set of priorities and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you're going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents are confused as to when a significant other should be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don't become emotionally involved with someone you're dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level. You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt should they become attached to a person you're dating and the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be that person for your child.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Government funds for single parents
Finding government funds for single parents can sometimes prove to be an onerous task.
The proliferation of single parents is on the increase around the world. Raising a child or children alone often proves to be a difficult job. This is the reason that being a single parent involves taking on a lot more responsibility and takes a special person to be able to make do. The personality of the successful lone parent will often be courageous and stubborn. These qualities will be needed and tested in the process of seeking to better your child's life. One must have the courage to ask for assistance despite pride and the stubbornness to persist until that better life is realized.
Financial aid is provided by the government to any parent who can prove that they need the assistance in order to raise their child. The reason there are government grants for sole guardians is that the law accepts that raising a child without a 2nd income can be an extremely difficult proposition. In order to help out the guardian, grants are sometimes provided to help ease the pressures that are faced financially. This is not as much a charity as an acceptance that two incomes are often required to maintain a healthy lifestyle for children.
Government funding is accessible to the general public, especially needy single parents. To begin the process of applying for aid, he or she needs to obtain the forms from City Hall. The forms should be candidly and clearly completed because the information will need to be verified and will form the basis for the decision. Remember, you're dealing with the government, so all t's must be crossed and all i's must be dotted. Be advised that while financial aid is available and open to every person in the land, qualifications do exist and are set to protect the funds from fraud.
Note that financial assistance will not be given to those whose salaries are large and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. The government alone decides what constitutes "need". Don't make the mistake of thinking that things being difficult automatically makes your case for such need.
Remember, the pool of funds is finite.
While Government aid may be offered to the single parent, it is important to maintain your priorities. The parent must always understand that any grant provided will help out on the budget front, but the most crucial part of raising a child is the emotional support. The ability to care for your child through all the hard knocks and issues in their lives will ALWAYS be more important than the latest pair of Nike's.
Common Struggles for Single Parent
If there's a single group of people who are underappreciated more than any other group of people, it has to be single parents. While everyone knows being a parent is hard, being a single parent tends to be even harder. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you're financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are six of the most common single parent struggles with tips and strategies on how to overcome them.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an eye on the kids and all of the other parental responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They don't really relate to singles without children because single parents have an entirely different set of priorities and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you're going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents are confused as to when a significant other should be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don't become emotionally involved with someone you're dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level. You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt should they become attached to a person you're dating and the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be that person for your child.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Funding For Single Parents By Governments
Finding government funds for single parents can sometimes prove to be an onerous task.
The proliferation of single parents is on the increase around the world. Raising a child or children alone often proves to be a difficult job. This is the reason that being a single parent involves taking on a lot more responsibility and takes a special person to be able to make do. The personality of the successful lone parent will often be courageous and stubborn. These qualities will be needed and tested in the process of seeking to better your child's life. One must have the courage to ask for assistance despite pride and the stubbornness to persist until that better life is realized.
Financial aid is provided by the government to any parent who can prove that they need the assistance in order to raise their child. The reason there are government grants for sole guardians is that the law accepts that raising a child without a 2nd income can be an extremely difficult proposition. In order to help out the guardian, grants are sometimes provided to help ease the pressures that are faced financially. This is not as much a charity as an acceptance that two incomes are often required to maintain a healthy lifestyle for children.
Government funding is accessible to the general public, especially needy single parents. To begin the process of applying for aid, he or she needs to obtain the forms from City Hall. The forms should be candidly and clearly completed because the information will need to be verified and will form the basis for the decision. Remember, you're dealing with the government, so all t's must be crossed and all i's must be dotted. Be advised that while financial aid is available and open to every person in the land, qualifications do exist and are set to protect the funds from fraud.
Note that financial assistance will not be given to those whose salaries are large and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. The government alone decides what constitutes "need". Don't make the mistake of thinking that things being difficult automatically makes your case for such need.
Remember, the pool of funds is finite.
While Government aid may be offered to the single parent, it is important to maintain your priorities. The parent must always understand that any grant provided will help out on the budget front, but the most crucial part of raising a child is the emotional support. The ability to care for your child through all the hard knocks and issues in their lives will ALWAYS be more important than the latest pair of Nike's.
The proliferation of single parents is on the increase around the world. Raising a child or children alone often proves to be a difficult job. This is the reason that being a single parent involves taking on a lot more responsibility and takes a special person to be able to make do. The personality of the successful lone parent will often be courageous and stubborn. These qualities will be needed and tested in the process of seeking to better your child's life. One must have the courage to ask for assistance despite pride and the stubbornness to persist until that better life is realized.
Financial aid is provided by the government to any parent who can prove that they need the assistance in order to raise their child. The reason there are government grants for sole guardians is that the law accepts that raising a child without a 2nd income can be an extremely difficult proposition. In order to help out the guardian, grants are sometimes provided to help ease the pressures that are faced financially. This is not as much a charity as an acceptance that two incomes are often required to maintain a healthy lifestyle for children.
Government funding is accessible to the general public, especially needy single parents. To begin the process of applying for aid, he or she needs to obtain the forms from City Hall. The forms should be candidly and clearly completed because the information will need to be verified and will form the basis for the decision. Remember, you're dealing with the government, so all t's must be crossed and all i's must be dotted. Be advised that while financial aid is available and open to every person in the land, qualifications do exist and are set to protect the funds from fraud.
Note that financial assistance will not be given to those whose salaries are large and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. The government alone decides what constitutes "need". Don't make the mistake of thinking that things being difficult automatically makes your case for such need.
Remember, the pool of funds is finite.
While Government aid may be offered to the single parent, it is important to maintain your priorities. The parent must always understand that any grant provided will help out on the budget front, but the most crucial part of raising a child is the emotional support. The ability to care for your child through all the hard knocks and issues in their lives will ALWAYS be more important than the latest pair of Nike's.
Strategies And Solution For Single Parent Problems
If there's a single group of people who are under appreciated more than any other group of people, it has to be single parents. While everyone knows being a parent is hard, being a single parent tends to be even harder. Not only do you have to play the roles of both parents, but you're financially responsible for a set of bills that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are six of the most common single parent struggles with tips and strategies on how to overcome them.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an eye on the kids and all of the other parental responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They don't really relate to singles without children because single parents have an entirely different set of priorities and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you're going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents are confused as to when a significant other should be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don't become emotionally involved with someone you're dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level. You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt should they become attached to a person you're dating and the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be that person for your child.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful household items for very little money. Even inexpensive computers for young children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best is also usually the most expensive. Call the different childcare centers in your area and compare charges and services offered. Ask each one for references and check to see if there are any financial assistance opportunities available like reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would normally cover and a single father may have a hard time discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an eye on the kids and all of the other parental responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They don't really relate to singles without children because single parents have an entirely different set of priorities and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit lonely and you want to communicate with people who can relate to what you're going through, look into joining a nearby support group for single parents. Besides just chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents are confused as to when a significant other should be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide a growing relationship from your child, watch that they don't become emotionally involved with someone you're dating unless you really think the relationship is going somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level. You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt should they become attached to a person you're dating and the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be that person for your child.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Single Parenting With a Smile
There are so many challenges that come along with being a single parent, but one of the most difficult, is truly enjoying time with your children when there are so many other areas of chaos around you. Yet, while it is one of the most difficult, it is also one of the most important areas to focus on for you and your children.
Studies have shown that divorce is not a traumatic event for children to live through, but that the aftermath, what you do once the divorce has occurred, is truly what impacts our children most. And if your accomplishments lie on the fact that you are surviving each day and getting each child safely into bed at night, you may begin to pat your back...but just a little. It is a good start, but it only touches on the surface of what creates a well-adjusted child of divorce.
The real challenge is being able to table all of the other challenging areas for the moment, long enough to really engage with your children. It's about learning to focus on this moment, as if it is truly the one moment you have. Focus on each detail around you as if it will never again be this way, as if it is the golden moment.
But how? As single parents, we are faced with new careers, bills we are unfamiliar with, challenges that seem overwhelming, household chores and even finding a new circle of friends, so how do you find time to just enjoy your children? First of all, take a deep breath and a quiet space to clear your mind.
Tips to truly appreciating the moment with your child:
1 - Announce that you are going to stop everything else (no laundry, cleaning, phones, computers, etc.)
2 - Ask your child what he/she would like to do that would be fun (If you have a time restraint, make reasonable, but fun suggestions: play cards, get ice cream, play a board game).
3 - Be honest. Explain that you have been overwhelmed with your stuff, but really want to put that aside for right now. And then do it. Put the rest of your life on hold. It will still be waiting for you when you are ready.
4 - Look at your children as if seeing them for the first time. Notice your child's' eyes, how his/her face has changed, how tall they have gotten in the past few months.
5 - Start with a hug, with the intention of creating a connection that has been overlooked. No matter how old we get, we could always use a hug. Embrace how they feel in your arms, as you try to recall the first day you ever held your child.
6 - Acknowledge how patient they have been while you have been under duress. Surely they have also been waiting for you to have time to spend with them, and have been under stress themselves.
Now you are ready to truly enjoy what has been missing. Unconditional love.
You may be surprised to see that while you are enjoying whatever moment you've created together, the stress of other areas in your life will settle comfortably into a side pocket. Keep it there as long as you can and hold onto how it feels to have it there. Acknowledge aloud to your child how much you appreciate them and how much you have missed being in the moment with them.
And finally, take another deep breathe before leaving the moment and remember that at anytime, your child will gladly have you back and your "stuff" will surely be willing to wait for you. Remember that while the other stuff will wait, though, each moment your child has without you, will be missed. They will be waiting for you as well, but they will have grown, their needs will be different and you will have missed whatever it is that occurred.
Enjoy the moment. It is the only one you've got.
Lesley Geller is a Business Coach. She helps successful professionals exceed their expectations of growth. She works with small business owners, as well as individuals in large corporations looking to reach the next level. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland is certified as a Coach through the Coach Training Alliance, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. She is also a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. For more information about how to reach the potential you're capable of, visit her website at http://www.LesleyGeller.com or e-mail her at Lesley@LesleyGeller.com
Studies have shown that divorce is not a traumatic event for children to live through, but that the aftermath, what you do once the divorce has occurred, is truly what impacts our children most. And if your accomplishments lie on the fact that you are surviving each day and getting each child safely into bed at night, you may begin to pat your back...but just a little. It is a good start, but it only touches on the surface of what creates a well-adjusted child of divorce.
The real challenge is being able to table all of the other challenging areas for the moment, long enough to really engage with your children. It's about learning to focus on this moment, as if it is truly the one moment you have. Focus on each detail around you as if it will never again be this way, as if it is the golden moment.
But how? As single parents, we are faced with new careers, bills we are unfamiliar with, challenges that seem overwhelming, household chores and even finding a new circle of friends, so how do you find time to just enjoy your children? First of all, take a deep breath and a quiet space to clear your mind.
Tips to truly appreciating the moment with your child:
1 - Announce that you are going to stop everything else (no laundry, cleaning, phones, computers, etc.)
2 - Ask your child what he/she would like to do that would be fun (If you have a time restraint, make reasonable, but fun suggestions: play cards, get ice cream, play a board game).
3 - Be honest. Explain that you have been overwhelmed with your stuff, but really want to put that aside for right now. And then do it. Put the rest of your life on hold. It will still be waiting for you when you are ready.
4 - Look at your children as if seeing them for the first time. Notice your child's' eyes, how his/her face has changed, how tall they have gotten in the past few months.
5 - Start with a hug, with the intention of creating a connection that has been overlooked. No matter how old we get, we could always use a hug. Embrace how they feel in your arms, as you try to recall the first day you ever held your child.
6 - Acknowledge how patient they have been while you have been under duress. Surely they have also been waiting for you to have time to spend with them, and have been under stress themselves.
Now you are ready to truly enjoy what has been missing. Unconditional love.
You may be surprised to see that while you are enjoying whatever moment you've created together, the stress of other areas in your life will settle comfortably into a side pocket. Keep it there as long as you can and hold onto how it feels to have it there. Acknowledge aloud to your child how much you appreciate them and how much you have missed being in the moment with them.
And finally, take another deep breathe before leaving the moment and remember that at anytime, your child will gladly have you back and your "stuff" will surely be willing to wait for you. Remember that while the other stuff will wait, though, each moment your child has without you, will be missed. They will be waiting for you as well, but they will have grown, their needs will be different and you will have missed whatever it is that occurred.
Enjoy the moment. It is the only one you've got.
Lesley Geller is a Business Coach. She helps successful professionals exceed their expectations of growth. She works with small business owners, as well as individuals in large corporations looking to reach the next level. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland is certified as a Coach through the Coach Training Alliance, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. She is also a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. For more information about how to reach the potential you're capable of, visit her website at http://www.LesleyGeller.com or e-mail her at Lesley@LesleyGeller.com
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Dating Single Parents
As marriage break up is ever on the increase, the chances are that a lot of people end up in a dating single parent situation. Having a young child makes having a social life difficult in any circumstances. Being a lone parent makes it doubly hard. Even if you can find a regular, trustworthy babysitter, the potential date might back off at the sight of sticky powdered milk on your clothes.
It's best to be upfront in these circumstances. Don't spring a surprise when you're standing at the alter. There is a lot of pressure on everyone involved. It's like dating the child as well as dating single parent. The child may disapprove and be jealous of the new person in Mum or Dad's life. Some people try to win the child over by showering them with gifts. This rarely works and certainly doesn't offer a long term solution. Trust has to be built up and it takes hard work and time. The child must feel that they still come first, without giving in to their unreasonable demands.
Of course, sometimes it's two people in the same boat that come together. If you're lucky, the children from both parties will get on like a house on fire. Alternatively, they may end up strangling each other. No one said that dating single parent and offspring would be easy. This situation doesn't come with a simple step by step instruction manual. Patience is the keyword.
If it's a serious relationship developing, then any problems with children have to be addressed before living together or marriage is an option. Emphasize the fact that you're not trying to take the place of Mum and Dad but that you still demand to be shown courtesy. Finding common ground is vital. Try to share an activity together.
In the movie, About a Boy, Hugh Grant plays a man who discovers that his romantic opportunities are increased by pretending to be a single Dad. He decides that dating single parent scenarios will bring him great kudos. He gets his comeuppance of course. Being a single parent will probably attract and repel the opposite sex in equal measure. It does work a surprisingly high percentage of time. Stepparents and stepsiblings are the fastest growing group on the planet despite all the problems. Every sort of parent needs a well earned break now and then. Just don't ring the babysitter every five minutes. It really does spoil the mood.
It's best to be upfront in these circumstances. Don't spring a surprise when you're standing at the alter. There is a lot of pressure on everyone involved. It's like dating the child as well as dating single parent. The child may disapprove and be jealous of the new person in Mum or Dad's life. Some people try to win the child over by showering them with gifts. This rarely works and certainly doesn't offer a long term solution. Trust has to be built up and it takes hard work and time. The child must feel that they still come first, without giving in to their unreasonable demands.
Of course, sometimes it's two people in the same boat that come together. If you're lucky, the children from both parties will get on like a house on fire. Alternatively, they may end up strangling each other. No one said that dating single parent and offspring would be easy. This situation doesn't come with a simple step by step instruction manual. Patience is the keyword.
If it's a serious relationship developing, then any problems with children have to be addressed before living together or marriage is an option. Emphasize the fact that you're not trying to take the place of Mum and Dad but that you still demand to be shown courtesy. Finding common ground is vital. Try to share an activity together.
In the movie, About a Boy, Hugh Grant plays a man who discovers that his romantic opportunities are increased by pretending to be a single Dad. He decides that dating single parent scenarios will bring him great kudos. He gets his comeuppance of course. Being a single parent will probably attract and repel the opposite sex in equal measure. It does work a surprisingly high percentage of time. Stepparents and stepsiblings are the fastest growing group on the planet despite all the problems. Every sort of parent needs a well earned break now and then. Just don't ring the babysitter every five minutes. It really does spoil the mood.
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