So far as the institution of family is concerned, our society is predominantly oriented towards two-parent families. For upbringing and fostering children, the presence of both the parents is considered to be essential and fundamental. Any other scenario deviating from this norm is believed to be inherently faulty and damaging. To some extent, it is true also. Till now, human families have been built on the rock of two-parent orientation. This belief has certainly influenced the micro-intricacies involved in the process of growing up and becoming an adult. However, by stressing this norm beyond a limit, we tend to ignore the necessity and inevitability of social evolution and individual independence. For relevant reasons, people may resort to alternate trends which may not be popular or have a mass support, but are acceptable and sometimes unavoidable. Single parenting is one such trend.
Several circumstances may lead to the formation of a single-parent household. However, divorce happens to be the number one reason. Being a single parent is a big challenge in itself and, sometimes, this task may seem to be so undaunting that an individual may continue to stick to a festering relationship, rather than moving ahead with his life and accepting the challenge. There are several reasons why people are repelled by the idea of single parenting.
One possible reason could be concern for the children. People are concerned about their children’s growth and future and want them to have the advantage of a regular family. For this, they are willing to bear with their personal unhappiness and turmoil. Though this decision, in reality, may not be in the best interest of the children, yet, the myths prevalent about single parenting may motivate the people to suffer for the sake of their children.
The other side of the coin is that the problems faced by single-parent households are the same as that of regular ones. Yet, the reason they seem to be so difficult is because the person supposed to face them tends to be alone. Parenting is a full-time job and may involve certain situations which could be tackled easily as a couple than as a single parent. For example, during certain phases of their growth, children tend to exhibit a critical and hostile attitude towards parents. It becomes easier to accept this situation as a couple. However, in the case of a single parent, it may lead to feelings of hurt and frustration. This sense of loneliness and isolation may repel the individuals from resorting to a divorce.
Other reason why the prospects of single parenting may prove to be an impediment on the way to a divorce is financial insecurity. If one of the spouses happens to be unemployed or not earning enough to support the children, the prospects of raising a family alone may seem to be impossible. This could induce the aggrieved individual to avoid a divorce, so that the children may continue to enjoy the benefits of financial stability. Research has shown that one of the biggest reasons that can jeopardise an attempt at single parenting is financial incapacity. Lack of resources may vitiate the family life and could have damaging effects on the personalities of the children. The financial self-reliance and self-sufficiency of a single parent is vital for him or her to make his family life a success story.
People tend to be concerned with their progeny’s psychological and emotional health. They want them to grow up into healthy adults and expect them to have stable relationships with their future life partners. A divorce may deprive them of adult role models and may lead them to have unhappy and unsuccessful relationships with their spouses. This could turn out to be one of the reasons for avoiding a divorce.
Thus, we have seen that for a number of reasons, people may drop the idea of a divorce and may continue with their non-functional relationships, rather than opting for single parenting. However, many of these reasons are based on myths and a logical analysis of them may dispel these fears. It is good to have adult role models, provided these men and women are emotionally healthy individuals. Children may suffer greater harm by living in a situation of perpetual conflict and discord, rather than having an effective and mature single parent. A single parent with relevant family skills and financial ability can raise well-rounded children. Alternate role models may emerge amongst friends and relatives. Initially after a divorce, things may prove to be tough for the children and the parent responsible for them. However, with patience and tact, this decision may prove to be the beginning of a new life.
